Saturday, March 21, 2009
Final Year classes ought to be cancelled - there's absolutely no point (NONE at all) in sitting in those dull classes except for attendance's sake... (Take a closer look,you see why)
The only use of those classes so far has been catching up on those mp3s i hadn't listened to for a long time,reading those classics,those lame magazines,Filling up slam books,sleeping,doodling,making abstract and face sketches..Just about everything that'd kill time.Final semester has been a time for everything but study - Happy to say 've mastered various arts - sketches,poetry,caricature,calligraphy and the like.
I can see that my sense of logic and proportion have started to have a eccentric turn ,which explains this irrational post and irrelevance of content.But trust me. I still have some degree of sanity left within me.
P.S: I am stopping here as the cursor has winked at me for the past 10minutes; mocking my inability to give a coherent shape to my frenzied thoughts. I will continue expounding on the crap-and-boredom which has pervaded my life,a little later. For now,let me think…….Disgruntled-ly yours,
P.S: I've migrated to wordpress.
Please update me in your list :-)
Friday, February 13, 2009
It really didn't strike me this post is valentine's day-worthy,until a certain friend who saw the draft(that was composed way back in 2008) asked me to publish it.Well.... Valentines Day is when A sweetheart(A person loved by another person)is chosen to receive a greeting or gift expressing love(well that's how dictionaries define it). Don't mock me by your immature talk-backs or impertinent cheekiness, that this day can not apply to forms of love other than the lovergirl-loverboy type.Assume as you may,but here in my world,things work my way(until of course, time or something else changes me:well ,even then it'd be my way right?! :) )Before you get to read this,let me just tell you this :"Publishing this post means embarrassment to me *blush* because the mood when this was written,why this was written is kinda inexplicable.)
People see me as somebody with zero emotions.. That just drives me mad!Seriously,could there be someone like that,who could survive in that manner???
Well this is the scenario:
Friend watches movie called vaaranam ayiram.. Calls up and says"Its really superb..Blah blah blah! In particular i got too much of feelings for a particular thing" I say,"Okay yaar..I'll watch it too..I'm going to the movies tomorrow!" Then I actually get to watch it... (actually its a pretty good movie about how happy a family is...how the son shares
almost everything with his dad !!Movie goes fine..I'm more drawn by the scenes of Surya with Sameera Reddy,especially the train episodes! :D )When we speak again I tell this particular friend,"Hey it was good..So what was tat feelings part of the movie u admired so much ?"(Just inquisitive to know if our tastes matched)That's it ...!!! She's triggered and starts spitting out words(as if she knew all that she was gonna say,by heart) which tend to mean "Yeah ! I knew you wouldn't have liked it..It was far too emotional for you..Unaku than feelings ay varadhey + some other crap" :O I said "get a hold of urself ....Do you even know what I meant?"Well,that was what I meant to,in any case.. Rather I just hung up saying "tats it end of story.Ciao!" *really angry* The issue was over in a matter of few minutes,when the unemotional me called up again and corrected her !! /:|
Well..Now again..another gang of friends watch the movie again...and somehow someone says something similar to what the previous person said !! That's the zenith of whatever it was that I was feeling at that moment!!!
Hush ! don't say one more word..I know @ this point the truth seems so absurd..But thats exactly what I'm gonna tell you!!!
My emotions do not rest on ground zero... Well..this is the truth, the real truth and YOU , Mitha** and Caffinegirl** and the rest of you know it: "Gracy is NOT, I repeat,IS NOT a emotionless wreck! It may seem that I'm not too attached with my family,but that doesn't mean I miss them most of the times..I may not speak with them for as much time on the phone or as much,for that case,with them., as you the "so called emotional" guys speak,but that CERTAINLY doesn't mean I love them (or they love me) any less.How dare you challenge my intuitive feelings. You may quote this exact quote some other time , I'm sure, and I sincerely don't approve of it either..Now, Back to the point... When watching the movie,I had so many thoughts in my head too...But then..expression of thoughts is something I rarely do,unless it is absolutely necessary or if that is gonna do some good to mankind..."Else,why bother?" That's one principle I live by,and if you people who've been with me all thru' this 4 year engineering course don't know till now,Get to know it NOW!! The father Surya in the movie resembled my dad so much...(not all) only i've failed to be the equivalent of son Surya and tell him everything(because of my sick principle!) As for the mom ,I'm not so sure,cos my lovely mom is the strict kinda disciplined person.So that's variety in a household,which is an absolute must to cheer up the home! As for my brother,(Nobody knows this)I love him loads!(Sorry Dany,you had to find this one out,the same time the rest of the world had to) But we fight loads too..So that makes up for it!!Despite the fact mom and dad see us as dog and cat,the annoying cat shares kodak moments with the dog...Only..they aren't captured to be broadcast!So that's one really happy family as I see it! Don'tcha think!Well..I'm least bothered what you may think..So don't strain X(
Sorry everybody..This letter is kinda harsh today as I'm in a sorta fix,which I'm sure is gonna pass.
Slow motion devastation..should have seen it coming.Couldn't do nothing.Emotions desperation.... Go on get out of my head..I'm on the wrong side of a parallel universe..! (Lines from a music track by Hilary Duff crossing my mind now)..
Bottomline:Everybody's got a unique relationship with their family..For your info-I've got one too..Only it isn't publicized as much as yours(maybe)Other than that there's no big difference!This movie has gotten people think about their families to an extent no other "Tamil" movie has done.
i remember Mitha saying that she wanted to go kiss her dad and say i love u to him..But didn't do it because of not doing it all these years and suddenly one fine day....! Well..I strongly recommend you to do so on father's day !As for me.. emotionless wreck i'll remain to you always(till the time you change your opinion of me)..But in reality only a emotion-not displaying girl! I find playing this part more fun and like a part of the cool kid regime !I like it when you people say "I'm cool,poised and not bothered about what goes around"I feel that is how a person should be..not too stuck with or playing around with emotions.Well that's just one persons principle..and nobody can have a say in it.But when you actually brand me (time and again) as being emotionless,that's what pisses me off !!
That's it END OF STORY !
** - Names changed for privacy
Mitha,Caffinegirl read this letter later that night and haven't defied me again!So have the rest. :)
While men buy mostly for romantic reasons, women use Valentine's Day as an opportunity to show they care to mothers, daughters and friends, as well as their sweethearts. Women even treat themselves on Valentine's Day
I was just wondering...and googled and presto I was right - There are people who think like me!Here's proof. I think Valentines Day is a fun holiday for expressing love and affection which should not be ignored, even if the love is between family members and friends versus romantic partners.I know that parents have Mother's Day and Father's Day but Valentines Day is also significant and I don't think it is just for lovers but extends to anyone for whom you have a special place in your heart.
Am I taking it too far though and has Hallmark totally brainwashed unsuspecting consumers like me?
Well ,the reason I wanted to publish this at this time is this : Don't forget those people who love you far higher than you could reason or imagine: your genitors ! Come on ,Go make 'em happy with your valentine day wish...I'm sure Gen X never expects such wishes from Gen Y ,during the valentine season.. Of course you could never ask them the classic 'Will you be my..?" question :P,..still its a time to express that upsurge of love !I dunno if I have influenced you in any way...but if I have I'll be really happy to know of it :) Does anybody here agree with my principle - of feb14 ? Please enumerate and make my day !
Thursday, February 5, 2009
*** Disclaimer : This post may seem like an attempt for self-assertion,self-promotion-watsoever,but that is something that is totally unintentional ! ***
Technically - Jill of all trades...I wanna rule every arena that exists..but that just is impossible...There are a zillion things I wannabe...wanted2be..will-wannabe, ever since I started planning out my career (dates way back to KG..no pre Kindergarten maybe...No.probably since I started speaking..!!mainly because of those vexatious relatives who think "what do u wanna be when you grow up?" is a starter question for conversing with children!) Well anyways, as far as my memory fetches,I remember wanting to start a hairstyling parlor(entrepreneur kiddo - cool ) when I was mebbe 7 or 8.Then in elementary, I wanted to be a doc just like my mom because people spoke high of docs,then! In high school... the library was the most visited block.I joined the book club and man..Did I have so many cool friends who shared my taste... We could take only one book a week...But on a daily basis,we'd take one in the evening and return it and get another the next day,much to the lazy librarian's exasperation(cos of which she stopped issuing one book/day ) so I had to grab other people's card and make them take books for me..( The habit still lasts... ;) but in a modified sorta way) So anywayz back to the point, I wanted to be a librarian..cos she gets to spend so much time with the book racks and news stands.."What a rocking life she leads.." i thought!! Well the librarian thingy passed soon,cos I realized there are other ways to grabbing books than the library :P (Note to the cripple brained people: Books here,strictly means novels,story books and the likes that any mom would shove away ,if she caught you sneaking past bedtime under the pretext of learning for an important subject test !!Well ..as I moved higher in the ladder of schooling,I wanted to be an artist, cos my painting was acclaimed second best in the all India camel color contest held then.. Nothing could stop the passion for paintbrushes,easels.I did manage to major myself in the various variants of the art -fabric,poster,watercolors,oil,glass,sand..!! Those were the good ol' days.!! Needless to mention the books I read, kneaded the way i thought about my career.. I loved reading sleuthhound stories ...Famous 5,secret 7 to Sherlock Holmes..Nancy Drew ..Agathe Christe.. Loved 'em all.. Forensic Science shows in Nat Geo made me seriously think of that as a career prospect.Class 8-9 We had Shakespeare and the high school english classes were a breeze and I was Miss.Jane's (my lovely english teacher) favorite student..Poetry contests and Shakespeare - needless 2 mention, brought the poetess in me out and showcased it to the world..mainly Ms.J cos it was she who judged my first poem - 'Is peace the need of the hour ? ' and acclaimed it to be a masterpiece(this is something I put in,myself :P ).That was the start and end of my poetry career.. I haven't written any major good poems, since..although I have written what I call mini-poems ..haikus ..!
Class 10 - what was that they called it ... ?? .." turning point in life..or something like that" My Biology teacher inspired me and that was when I decided that I wanted to be a scientist doing research projects..My Science fair project also won first prize something in school level only pushing the dream higher...Class 10 was the end of my enthusiastic study time !!
Class 11 ,12 were a world in its own entirety.It marks the birth of the punk in me !Its a marvel what these years can do to you...your ambitions..YOU mainly.. Although I was forced into learning music ever since I was 12 years(the Grand Piano !) I never really liked learning to read the musical notes and aarrgghh the music master I had first, ditched me :( for not practicing and doing as told ! Mom didn't stop there.. She found a new one each time one left and finally I had this super cool church pianist who made me one too :) It was at that time TV shows featured ..like the American Idol,Super Singer and stuff like that... So probably you are thinking I wanted to be a singer ...Embarrassingly ..Yes !! Not only that.. a music composer too...!! Well anyways...my music career is limited to singing in church choirs and carols and music I've composed is paltry.That's that! I can live with it !! Anyways, One should have a clear focus of the future @ this stage and probably 'cos people around me wanted me to do medicine , I didn't wanna... 'A maverick in the making !! :)' .. I started reading sidney sheldon.. And what do you know.. I loved the intelligent attorneys who screwed up the defendants ..Amazing.. how life makes you wannabe so many things at once.. Well,my family screwed up this choice of mine giving.. some dumb silly excuse that, law practitioners lead a dog's life and they(my parents) just can't see their bubble wrapped princess to endure that !!! HUH!!!(Gen X people!!!) That was so damn frustrating !!! Well I didn't know better about standing up to my wishes,then..so here I am now as a Engineer in computer science ! At the onset , I thought its the end of my thinking process for finding an ambition..but then... So many prospects and specializations here also !!So here I go again.. (Mba/Ms/work in the IT firm I'm placed in..?!?)But this time..I have the say in everything...Thankfully time has healed me or has it?!
Life is amazing .....There are a zilllion things you wanna do but actually do nothing at all.. !! Amazing or what! Right now I gotta kick out the lazy bum caterpillar in me and turn over into a cute butterfly...
I dunno the time frame whence Gracy wanted to be an astronaut,nuclear physicist,journalist,fiction writer,interior designer,national player in shuttle/badminton,movie director(this one I know:when i received accolades for the best skit in school assembly,for which I was director),Chess genius(this triggered off when I won gold- beginners level:sadly,the first and final chess medal.).. I'm sure the list is incomplete.Shall update when I remember the other wannabes.Uffff... Writing this post had made me wanna go back to those times and become jack of all those trades I started off with such an enthusiasm that evanesced with the same momentum!This picture probably sums me up:
Bottom line: I have deviated from the thread I was thinking along, to another(from the jack of all trades to life's ambitions)This has gotten me thinking..If only I had been jack of one trade,say chess - Would I have achieved something worth singling me out ?!So..... Is it worth being a jack of all trades or master of one?? Help me think .. Post your views in the comments section.
Monday, February 2, 2009
This is something I penned down right after a certain exam I dreaded,got over(in mid December)..I didn't wanna publish it then,but now that I have heaved sighs of relief,I thought - why not?? and here goes :
As many of you know by now.. or even if you don't : The subject I dreaded the whole of the engineering process was Digital Signal Processing a.k.a Degree Stopping Paper :( I took the exam today @ 9... My preparations were done really good (relative to the meager preparations I had for the internal exams ) It so happens that I always enter the exam hall exactly after the last bell sounds(meaning I do not waste a drop of the last minute time).. and so, as always entered in a hurried manner took the answer sheet and filled the details.. Kept praying to God that the question paper should be easy.. Having an unpredictable pattern of question paper rules,(Why do they ask problems in theory papers and theory and derivations in Problematic ones,making it all the more knottier !!!)I was only hoping that there'd be some easy sums to solve.. Turned out it was a hybrid of both..paper was set such that you knew only one of the subdivisions under each option(meaning either way you lost half the marks) I did some major blunders (maybe) choosing the theory questions and somehow arriving at a speculation of the answer ! And in the problem section I don't know if what I did was right..(All the summations and Z transforms and filter design coefficients,choosing the right limits :X ) I know I have done a few mistakes.. Just kept pushing my calculator buttons the 3 hours time, trying hard!
Today morning I prayed and read the Bible . Psalm 46 : "God is our refuge and strength ,a very present help in time of need ..... The Lord Almighty is with us;the God of Jacob is our refuge" It was so solacing to read it and take that promise as mine !
When out of the exam hall, some of my peers had done as bad as me (as they said, but you just can't assess that ) and few others heaved huge sighs of relief ! I have learnt a huge lesson...I did a Why-Why assessment and learnt my lesson- The reason that this was the exam I "FEARED" the most was this : I flunked all the 3 class tests.. I have written the maximum number of DSP tests (including the 3 re-tests) and still the subject fumbles me!!!!! The reason I bombed all tests was my not heeding the professor's advice and taking down the notes.and why did I not wanna take notes?? Just my "I am in final year .. I 've got a job...I can do things at last minute and get away with it..."attitude ! Never let your "last minute breezing things" ability get to your head I'm sorry I 've let myself down! I'll try to be a better person in my forth coming student years.I am not gonna publish this post right now.If I clear the paper I will !
God, Pllleeeeeeeaaaassssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee help me !
On a merrier note, My total aggregate is the lowest I've got so far..Who cares??!!! I have cleared DSP(with an awesome 75%) Hallelujah !! :-) and now I can scorn at that freako of a prof ,who looked down on me !!
P.S : The underlined portions... I can't believe I wrote them :O , No..seriously !
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 2.5 India License.